Wanderer.

https://video.wixstatic.com/video/bc7f98_75a652adb89f4368b97b5eda43c50c15/1080p/mp4/file.mp4

I open my eyes again simply to tell myself that everything will be fine... today. It became a ritual which makes me stick to this deadly circle. I tell myself every second I will be just fine, but I am still waiting for a messiah to put me through the "good path". However, it seems like the devil itself is guiding me.

Do you know how much pain is held between the letters of "okay"? Those loose lies which just simply fit enough not to make your life fall apart. Just to keep you going till you can get them tight, fitting for the situation. But I've never arrived to that point where I can happily say I am... that, happy. It seems so simple to just conform with society's happiness; although it is just not my style. I might just be too ambitious for happiness, and that's why darkness controls my soul. In spite of this lack of light, I still tell myself I will find the guiding light one day if I keep trying hard enough. Just a step further, you know? Consequently, that ambition fusions with that purpose which just creates confusion from not seeing results.

Then, all layers are taken off. After so many failures, you find yourself becoming one and you can't formulate the "I'm okay" anymore. It changes to "I'll be okay" which just ends up meaning that you are not. It is like you are walking around naked, you can't lie anymore. You are left with nothing and there is no decoration or cover that can hide you. You can't be a hidden spirit like everyone else. You are left with just yourself and you have no other option that to confront it, which is one of the most dangerous things that can happen to you. After this there is only two options, a) you find your way, or b) you get lost. But, is it that bad to wander? In the end, "Not all those who wander are lost" -J.R.R. Tolkien.